30 Generals

(These were written for a gaming site, and each of the following is a real or fictional general.  Feel free to steal!)

"Wait till you see the greens of their eyes!"

1) The McClellan:  A meticulous planner and an expert in logistics, the McClellan wants to be prepared.  Thoroughly prepared.  He’s the sort who’ll visit individual units to check their kit, ask the troopers what their needs are, eat in their messes to ensure the food is well cooked.  He’s also a sound theoretical tactician, and wrote the army’s tactics manual.  Somehow, all this doesn’t translate onto the battlefield, where he’s hesitant to risk the army he loves so much, skittish and easily convinced the enemy’s forces are far larger than they really are.  He’s never commanded a decisive defeat, but he’s never come close to gaining a decisive victory, either.  While he wins few battles and his superiors are fed up with him, he has the staunch support of his soldiers.

2) The Scott: He’s the nation’s greatest living military legend.  He’s served on active duty longer than any general ever has, and he's been a general longer than any general's ever been.  He was a general three wars and nearly fifty years ago, and in the last war the Scott was both the army’s general-in-chief and the cunning strategist who led the national army to victory against impressive odds.  Decades later, he’s still the general-in-chief, and still a sound strategist.  But now there’s a new war, and the Scott is an old man: sick, obese, unable to take the field.  It doesn’t help his cause that he’s a bit hidebound, still prefers the field tactics of an earlier day, and is increasingly fussy in his dotage.  For the first time, younger officers mutter that he ought to be superseded.

3) The Massengale: All his career, he’s been a political animal.  He had the right education, the right social lines, the handsome features, the brilliant smile.  He started as the aide-de-camp to an important general, parlayed that into a high staff position in the national military establishment, and leapfrogged up the ranks of the peacetime army.  He’s an ace at making his superiors look good and himself look better, and is the fellow you want on the dance floor, in the banquet hall, at the conference table.  Amoral, smooth, he has no qualms about backstabbing anyone who’s no longer of use to him, the road to military oblivion is paved with the skins of his enemies, and common soldiers are beneath his notice.  Now that the next great war has come, his chance to do what he must to become general-in-chief one day has finally arrived: to have operational command of troops ... something he’s never done.

4) The Stuart: A belle sabeur, he’s the very image of the dashing cavalier.  He goes into battle wearing silks, sashes and plumes, and he’s a popular hero to many.  He’s also a brilliant cavalry general, famous for daring and successful raids behind enemy lines.  He’s lucky, he’s good at what he does ... but the Stuart has a dangerous problem with ego and distractions.  He may well pause in his duty to throw an impromptu gala ball (which he loves) or to wear out his troopers with parades and reviews (which he also loves), and he’ll freelance to rack up some new and impressive feat at the risk of his command.

5) The Giap: His nation is weak, and faced with powerful enemies who’ve occupied large stretches of the land.  Self-trained as a soldier but an avid student of tactics, he has been forced to become a master of guerilla warfare.  While secretly he yearns for a great decisive set piece battle, his patience and iron will prevent him from such a foolish mistake, and instead the Giap channels his intellect into developing unorthodox and asymmetric tactics to counter the enemy’s military might.  In particular, he will push his men into doing things thought impossible, like maneuvering through purportedly impenetrable jungle.  His only weaknesses are off of the battlefield; he is ruthlessly authoritarian if in charge of civilians, and his love for the ladies offends the rigid moralists of his culture.

6) The Damon: A decent, honorable soldier who came up from the ranks after winning the nation’s highest military honor, he spent many years in hardship posts before gaining general’s rank.  He makes friends easily, but he’s no politician, won’t compromise for barracks advantage, and has his share of enemies in the hierarchy.  The Damon is also plain and outspoken, and has views about warfare and patriotism which offend glory-loving civilians with no notion of the horrors of war and even less desire to hear about them.  Another trait that offends people is that while he scrupulously follows the codes of war off the battlefield, he sees no reason to hold back on the battlefield, advocating tactics and weapons his culture finds inhumane in the belief that anything which shortens the war is humane.

7) The Tserclaes: He’s been a commanding general for decades, and has an impressive record of victory: he has never lost a battle in which he’s enjoyed sole command.  His men revere him for that, and would follow him anywhere.  He is no innovator – although he has mastered the time-honored battle tactics associated with the infantry he commands.  His approach to combat is straightforward ... march to where the enemy is, and pound them head-on until they yield.  He’s known to be extremely loyal, and will never betray or cheat his nation. As against that, the Tserclaes has gained a reputation for battlefield brutality even by the standards of his brutal era, having butchered more than one army in retreat and engaging in more than one infamous sack of a captured city.

8) The Gars: A man who sees further than other commanders of his day, he hasn’t invented any new tactics, but is the master synthesist, and melds ideas into formations and tactics that have proven startlingly effective.  (Moreover, he has an unparalleled record for training his lieutenants to be great generals in their own right.)  Notable for piety even in a pious age, he will not permit blasphemy in his army, and has curious renown for writing popular hymns.  What endears him most to his men is that the Gars asks nothing of his men he shrinks from himself, and leads from the front: he is in his own right a deadly warrior.  But he has taken more of his share of wounds over the years – which hasn’t at all curbed his reckless desire to fight – and some worry that the next battle could be his last.

9) The von Clausewitz: He’s had a long military career, and has been in a number of battles, but he’s usually held staff positions – chief of staff, inspector-general and the like.  The largest unit he’s led in battle was a brigade, and that as subordinate to another.  His reputation rests on his being a notable military theorist.  Even there, his views are somewhat heretical, for he’s less concerned with the minutiae of mathematics and drill than with the philosophy of battle and on war itself, and he’s deeply skeptical of a number of long-cherished military shibboleths.  Nonetheless, many generals swear by his writings, although to the von Clausewitz’s irritation, they tend to “interpret” his views to support their own prejudices.

10) The Ewell:  He’s a profane eccentric, a hypochondriac fond of bizarre diets and whacky non-sequiturs, with more nervous tics than many a trooper cares to count.  He’s also been a brave general for years, operating as the loyal and effective subordinate to one of the most renowned commanders of the day, and despite his quirks, his men have always followed him with a will.  But his superior has just died, and the Ewell has been promoted to run his old army.  Without the old general’s firm hand on several willful subordinates that the Ewell must now command (or, as to that, directing the Ewell himself), it’s anyone’s guess how he’ll perform at his new elevated rank.

11) The Mitchell: He is a daring, tireless, committed leader, and was chosen to lead a new and promising arm of service.  He feels that he proved the new arm’s worth in battle, and indeed is convinced that this type of unit – if properly developed – will revolutionize war.  As such, the Mitchell is an unstinting advocate of the service arm, and openly derisive of traditionalist generals, feeling that they’re only interested in fighting the previous war.  He’s crossed the line into open insubordination on the subject more than once -- not helped by the fact that he's a very heavy drinker -- and a number of generals want him muzzled ... or cashiered.

12) The Baner: As a young boy, he was forced to watch his mother and aunt executed for treason for being on the wrong side of a succession dispute.  But he was befriended by the king’s son, and pledged loyalty to the dynasty when the prince took the throne and restored the Baner’s family lands and title.  But that is all the Baner is loyal to, and he respects nothing and no one else.  He will defend the new Queen now that her father, his friend, is dead, but damn all else that gets in his path.  Unsparing in his wrath, he will attempt things other generals won’t – night attacks, midwinter campaigns – despite the toll it takes on his men.  His lifelong griefs he drowns in alcohol, which is visibly affecting his health ... though not (yet) his skill on the field.

13) The Hood: Eager to lead his troops into battle, he has distinguished himself on many a field as a leader of smaller formations, mostly of countrymen of his from a remote province.  “A lion, not a fox,” as one fellow officer called him, his bravery has led to near-fatal wounds that still impair him, though he insists on continuing to wear the colors.  (Off the field, by contrast, he is personally shy, and has a diffident manner which astounds those who know only of his repute in war.)  Now he has been put in charge of an army for the first time, with his nation badly battered and nearing final defeat; while he is the youngest commanding general on either side, it is hoped that his aggressive nature will turn the tide.  The Hood hopes so, at least, and feels that he not only has no choice save to take the long chance, but that he’d rather go down swinging than survive the war not having done his utmost.

14) The Burnside: He was out of the army for years as a businessman (involved in manufacturing weapons, as to that), although he commanded his province's militia, studiously drilling with the local units.  When the next great war came, he became a general.  But even though he won a couple minor battles, he’s not a good one, and he’s the first to tell you that.  Yet somehow he keeps getting promoted, and he keeps muffing battles.  He doesn’t want higher command, and turns it down as often as he dares, but the vagaries of politics, a string of bumblers, and the chance of a rival general he hates taking the top position have thrust him into a spotlight he’s convinced he’s incapable of meeting.  He’s also patriotic to a fault (he’s very willing to throw civilians in prison for even hinting at sedition) and may not feel it’s his right to tell his superiors no.

15) The Bragg: The best that can be said about him is that he’s “touchy.”  Anything that goes wrong is one of his subordinates’ fault.  Anything that the enemy does right is because one of his subordinates failed to react in time.  He’s constantly complaining about them and they’re constantly trying to subvert him in return.  Beyond that, he’s just as likely to pick fights with his superiors, writing frequent notes about his lack of support.  (His men, who despise him as a butcher enamored of frontal assaults and viciously harsh discipline, rather wish they could pick a fight with him themselves.)  He’s been court-martialed, censured, reprimanded ... but keeps his position because of his past as a war hero and the backing of the realm’s ruler, a personal friend of his.

16) The Kilpatrick: He’s fearless, blustery and a schemer, and is where he is because of his mastery of political manipulation.  A cavalry commander, he’s notorious among his men for suicidal charges and ordering his troopers well past the point of exhaustion and breakdown, and the rankers hate his guts.  His reputation is little enhanced by his taste for peculation, his lack of personal morals – up to keeping prostitutes in his tent on campaign – and his callous treatment of subordinates.  Still, the politicians enjoy victories, and pay little attention to the cost that "Kill-cavalry" pays for his methods.

17) The Morgan: He’s actually from the future – brought back to this time and dimension through means unknown.  He has command of technologies and techniques far in advance of the primitive times in which he finds himself, and being industrious in nature, convinces the ruler to let him replicate them.  They’ve stood in very good stead on the battlefield ... so far.  But the Morgan is brash and breezy, dismissive of the customs of the realm, derisive of the traditions of the culture, contemptuous of the ruling class and their ways, and not-so-secretly believes that his knowledge and talents should have him ruling the whole land.  Those generals brought low by the Morgan’s successes thirst to encompass his ruin.

18) The Hawkwood: He’s the most famous mercenary general of the era.  Quicksilver brilliant, he always seems to be on the victor’s side on the field.  Of course, he tends to ensure that: he has no compunction about switching sides, and will often take a contract from one side and then go to the other and see if they’ll better it, keeping the payments in any event.  (His men revel in the flows of cash, more than any other mercenary commander commands, and stay loyal, ironically enough.)  The Hawkwood is no orator, and doesn’t rally troops with personal magnetism or stirring speeches – just by the reputation of a man who always wins.

19) The Boudicca: In an era and a culture where women are not soldiers, less so commanders, she is the notable exception.  She’s no great tactician, but her harsh voice and piercing glare would shame many a drill sergeant, and she prides herself on being as tough as any soldier.  What really makes her stand out is that she’s got more skin in the game than any other general: her family was among the victims of atrocities wrought by the other side, and she will never, ever, ever quit, not while she’s still breathing, not as long as she still has a half-dozen soldiers to command.  In like fashion, the laws of war mean nothing to her any more, and massacres of defeated armies – or captured cities – at the hands of her army are commonplace.

20) The Jomini: The great rhetorical opponent of the von Clausewitz, he is a military theorist who scoffs at the notion of philosophy and holds to that of geometry: that a scientific approach reveals all manner of patterns which can be brought to play on the battlefield ... if on a flat plain, as opposed to rough terrain, where the numbers aren't so neat and pretty.  His works are popular, and have led to him being appointed as a general (though never in full command, something that irks him) by more than one side.  While this has come back to bite him when one side commissioning him declares war on another, the Jomini’s diligent staff work continues to commend him.  He is, however, a sycophant, and tends to tell a ruler what he or she wants to hear to gain preferment.

21) The Van Dorn: He was a compromise candidate – the two other choices being bitter rivals, and other candidates wanting no part of the fractious command – and it was a surprise when he was appointed to the post, despite his successes as a leader of light cavalry.  Aware that he was only the fifth or sixth choice, he thirsts to prove himself, despite his warring subordinates and the shambolic state of his army.  Emotional and impulsive, he expects to gain a glorious reputation, come what may.  He also has prominence as a painter and a poet, which he practices to clear his mind of military matters, but more recklessly, he is a “terror to ugly husbands,” caring little for the status or power of those he cuckolds.

22) The Rosecrans: A skilled engineer and successful educator, he was humiliated when he was kept at his desk at the national military academy when cadets and fellow officers alike were rushed into the last war, gaining glory that the Rosecrans never saw.  Needing to support his family in a better fashion than his mid-rank officer’s pay could manage, he resigned his commission and went successfully into business.  The new war has brought many retired officers back to the colors, and the Rosecrans was put in charge of a modest force, to good effect, where he outmaneuvered the enemy without giving battle.  Now he has his own army ... but while he is good at maneuver, he is a poor tactician, given to confusing and unrealistic orders, and is wont to dive into the front lines waving his sword rather than commanding the effort.

23) The Pompey: A young, successful, ambitious general, he dismays the conservatives in the government by his rapid rise, and his cavalier approach to legality: the Pompey often gets his way by subtly threatening the government with his loyal army.  His tactics are only efficient and neither inspired nor imaginative, and he can be tricked – if only temporarily – on the battlefield.  He is unparalleled at logistics and strategy, and wins his battles largely by choosing the right battlefields, thinking two steps ahead, and maneuvering his columns to put the enemy in untenable situations.  He’ll also readily adapt strategy to the opponent’s behavior: against a larger army he’ll fight a war of maneuver, against a defensive army he’ll fight a war of attrition, against a hesitant enemy he’ll go on a swirling offensive.  Many believe he is destined to rise to the top – something his foes in high places devoutly wish to prevent.

24) The Forrest: In an army dominated by the aristocracy and the gentry, he’s a rough frontier commoner.  In an army where most of the leading generals are scions of the nation’s military academy, he’s self-taught.  In an army where the commanders all started as officers, he started as a simple recruit.  In an army where the gentleman officers despise those in trade, he’s not merely a former tradesman, but a gambler and slave-trader.  Yet his brutal and innovative methods have made him his nation’s greatest cavalry commander and a tactician of impressive gifts, and he believes in the virtues of high mobility.  In personal combat he has yet to meet his equal, and is said to have slain dozens of the enemy personally while leading his troops (as well as having a record number of horses killed under him).  The Forrest does not believe in quarter, and seldom offers it, contributing to the dread in which enemy generals hold him.  It would be a dark day for the enemy should the Forrest ever reach high command – but he is dismissed as merely a successful raider by those same gentleman generals.

25) The Montmorency: He’s the protégé of the nation’s most famous general, and now that he’s succeeded the old woman he seems fair to better his retired mentor’s record.  He’s even won a nickname – the “Tapestrymaker” – based on the number of captured colors he’s sent back to the capital.  Logistics bores him, idle camp life sends him into paroxysms of depraved excess, and he’s had a hand in at least one notable war atrocity, but on the field he’s undefeated.  Somehow, he stays loyal to the nation, despite political infighting that has had him spending time in prison on trumped-up charges ... but when the war trumpets sound, the Montmorency is always hastily pardoned and put back in harness.  A pungent humor seems to keep him sane.

26) The Vauban: He’s the foremost military engineer of his age, and his nation has raised taxes to a near-ruinous level to rebuild obsolete fortresses and castles to his design.  Beyond that, his tactics for prosecuting a siege have proven very successful and been widely adopted, and one would imagine the Vauban’s reputation to be complete.  Unfortunately, he’s a prolific writer – and a proud member of the national academy of scholars – and a frequent critic of the government, proposing radical changes in land use (he’s advocated ceding territory he deems too difficult to defend), taxation and religious practice.  It’s increasingly felt that his military services are dispensable ... especially since they are mostly in theories already well known.

27) The Grant: (No, not the one you think.)  The “Mad Musician” is an oddball, all agree.  He’s famously laconic, speaking mostly in barked out one-word sentences.  His only hobby – or vice – seems to be music; he’s a devoted cellist and composer, and brings his instrument on all campaigns.  Indeed, it’s whispered that his army career was made only because a general wanted a cello player for a string quartet.  Inarticulate, poorly educated, rough around the edges, dismissive of scouting, what has sustained him is his iron constitution, the discipline of his soldiers, his belief in outposts, entrenchment and gaming out scenarios ... And that the Grant is the world’s deadliest fighter.  With any weapon he is the master, and he has won more than one battle by literally riding to the front and single-handedly breaking the enemy line.  His men may think him insane, but they will follow him to Hell and back.

28) The McDonald: Like the Morgan, he hails from a land in another time and space, of technology far beyond that he finds here.  He was summoned by a magical spell, but the wizards didn’t quite get what they thought they were getting.  While he’s a thoughtful, intelligent young man, he was never a commander: only the sergeant of a small raiding unit.  In command now of an army, he’s won the day by pulling out techniques and stratagems of his time unknown to those of this land.  But the enemy is not stupid, they’re learning quickly, and -- being a competent soldier, but scarcely a master strategist -- the McDonald is running out of rabbits to pull out of his helmet.  He also came here only with the futuristic weapons he could carry on his back, and those are rapidly being depleted; he has taken to learning the sword and lance, but is by no means expert.  A tendency towards impetuosity is doing him no good.

29) The Wheeler: In the last war, much the same as the Stuart, he was a general of light cavalry renowned for his raids behind enemy lines. But while the daring, slashing raids captured the imagination of his nation, his disinterest in following orders, love for frontal assaults and the laxity of discipline which seeps through his command doesn't endear him to a number of his peers. (Chief among these is the Forrest, whose disciplined nature finds no tolerance for the Wheeler's antics, and has publicly sworn that he'd rather be dead than serve with him again.) Following the conflict, the Wheeler entered politics and gained high posts, and wrote several popular books of his adventures. Now, thirty years later, it's a new war, and the luster of his fame -- that, and that he's one of the last generals from the old war still fit for it -- has led him to be appointed commander of the national cavalry.

30) The Roosevelt: Sickly as a boy and home tutored in consequence, the young aristocrat grimly pushed himself to be an outdoorsman, building up his stamina with a stern regimen of physical training. While an excellent scholar, a life of letters simply bores the Roosevelt, and he'd rather be out hunting or exploring. Still, a man of his station accepts all duties presented to him, and he's had a series of ministerial posts ... although his enemies claim that it's more a matter of boundless ambition than disinterested service. But now! Now there's a war! And to be a real man, a man must fight! The Roosevelt secured a general's commission, gathered a unit full of fellow aristocrats and riders from his estates. His command -- backed by his money -- has the best of everything, but it's yet to be seen whether his impetuosity and self-confidence will win battles.

Tidbits II: We Were Gamers Once, And Young ...

Spring 1979: While I’d been GMing solo sessions with my younger brother Mike since the previous year, my first actual campaign started later.  I didn’t start keeping my famously insanely detailed records until March of 1981.  But the timeline involved my high school classmate Laurey starting school at UMass-Amherst at the end of January 1979, and shortly thereafter I visited her out there, and we and our fellow high school classmate Marilyn got into a startup Empire of the Petal Throne game GMed by the guy across the hall from Laurey.  So ... I’m thinking this couldn’t be earlier than May 1979, the point where Laurey and Marilyn would be back home in Plymouth County for the summer.

I'd picked up City State of the Invincible Overlord and the Judges Guild core Wilderlands package; that's what I used to start.  Right from the beginning, though, I wasn't satisfied with the dungeon fantasy flavor of Random Stuff Randomly Strewn, or with the Wilderlands/JRRT standard of oases of high civilization in the middle of howling wildernesses, with orc hordes in bowshot of every town's walls.  The pen went flying fast.  (I still use the Wilderland maps as the underlying basis for my world, even heavily edited, but only out of decades of inertia; I'd create my own if starting from scratch.)

The dramatis personae, in no particular order.

My first players were high school classmates of mine: Laurey, Mal and Jackie were in my graduating class, Rick was in the next one, and we'd all been in the chorus together.  My younger brother Mike (an avid sword-and-planet reader who was a class behind Rick) made the fifth player.  Mike played Korak, a barbarian firmly in the Conan mode and with a Conanesque future; Rick played Valthor, a more Norse-style barbarian; Jackie played Alexandra the priestess; Laurey played Seka the courtesan-mage; and Marilyn played Linden the stick jock.  Classic Howard/Leiber style early RPG play, really, that was 70s gaming for you. (This also set a significant pattern for my whole gaming career; note that this was a majority-female group.  Save for a single semester at my first college's gaming club's sessions, I would never not have at least one woman at my table.  That was decidedly NOT 70s gaming standard, and it was a while before I realized that this was not merely unusual but highly so.)

I wish I remembered what the first adventure was.  (Likely it was pedestrian enough by my present-day standards that I'd cringe in retrospect.)  I do remember that I set the table with the weary party, walking on a dust-clouded road, heading for the great gate of one of the mightiest cities ever founded ...  I ran a couple of the JG published scenarios early on -- Dark Tower, Thieves of Badabaskor -- as well as a homebrew dungeon or two, and the CSO remained the home base of the party for a couple of years.

Early on, though, I got geopolitical, but that's a tale for another time ...

* * * * * * * * * *

The crew shook out fairly fast.  Mike, Rick and Laurey were in my campaigns for years, but Jackie was my first encounter with the Gamer Girlfriend stereotype; she played pretty much because the rest of us were, and she dropped the hobby like a hot potato when she and Rick split up soon after.  Marilyn was the root cause for my abandonment of random gen and journey to variant homebrew; she hated playing anything but wizards, went along only grudgingly with the STR 18 DEX 16 fighter-type she rolled up (unfortunately, I hadn't yet wrapped my head around RAW being a suggestion, not a mandate, and I cajoled her unwillingly into it), and ditched her for greener pastures soon enough.  She was only an intermittent player thereafter.  

That being said, our gang was heavily dominated by graduates from Silver Lake.  Of my first fifteen players only four weren’t high school classmates of mine: the aforementioned EPT GM and another UMass player of his (both of whom lived in the Boston area), and Rick’s martial arts teacher and his wife.  We wound up playing a lot of our games in the teacher’s home through to the end of 1981.

By 1982, Laurey and I fell out over my dating my future first wife, and Rick went career Navy  around the same time.  Mike was an occasional player for years to come, and was a regular as late as 1987; his final curtain call was in 1989, at a massive run that involved seventeen past and then-present players, and I needed two assistant GMs just to handle it.

It's odd how this underscores the longevity of my current group.  My wife and another player, Todd, have been gaming with me since 2003, and they're the youngsters of the bunch.  Andrew's been gaming with me with some breaks since 1990.  Dave's been gaming with me (with likewise some breaks) since 1987.

 But that, too, is a tale for another time ...

Tidbits: The Old Geezer OD&D Challenge

Eh, I've written enough huge rants lately.  Herewith some shorter musings:

There's a longtime forums poster who's gone by the names of "Old Geezer" and "Gronan of Simmerya."  As it happens, as a teenager he was one of Gary Gygax's earliest players, active in D&D before its publication, and furthermore he was one of M.A.R. Barker's early players, active in Empire of the Petal Throne before its publication.  He's been an invaluable fellow in discussions of gaming history and How It All Began. 

In one thread, Old Geezer opined that his biggest regret about OD&D was the lack of morale rules.  This led me to contemplate what my biggest regret was, and what -- had I been standing over Gary Gygax's shoulder and murmuring, "Dude, you really need to write this in" -- I'd have wanted to see in those rules.  

Caveat: we're talking first gen RPG, 1974; we're leaving Greyhawk, Blackmoor, Eldritch Wizardry, GD&H etc out.  The same publishing constraints apply, so I might be able to talk them into bumping the first or third books up a single sheet of paper (= 4 pages), and that's it.  Also, no massive rules rewrite; I'd love to have said "skill system," and that could've fit, but that'd mean having to redo most of the first book.  So ... for what might I have asked EGG?  And this is what I responded:

* * * * * * * * *

For my own part, while I would've wanted a complete overhaul in tone, the fact is that whatever we made of the game, it was written as a wargame for wargamers.  It's not that Gygax screwed up: it's that neither he nor anyone else knew any different then.  Yet.  I could think of a lot better use for a number of those pages than exacting rules for building and manning castles, but in 1973, they hadn't.

As I said, I'd have loved for there to have been a skill system rather than class/level, but that would've been a completely different set of rules.  So given my caveats, my choices would boil down to:

1) Forget alignment.  Completely.  Absolutely.  If there was one rule that had a poisonous, pernicious, lasting and idiotic sway over the hobby, this was it.  Alignment could without a drop of angst have been left out of D&D from the start, and at any time thereafter.  (The enduring irony of the protagonist of the books contributing most to the 70s Law/Chaos zeitgeist being a worshiper of Chaos invariably working for Law, something a lot of DMs would never permit, hasn't escaped me.)  That sucks up a whole page: we can use it writing a Rogue class.

2) The bigger single rule change, though, would be surprisingly simple: fixed hit points.  Something easy, say, HP = CON + 2 or 3/level?  IMHO, the most serious bar to roleplaying (vs wargaming) is that low-level OD&D characters had the survivability of chum in the water.  Make them likely to last past the first session, and there's incentive to invest in them.  Likewise, ditch random chargen.  Use some manner of fixed system.

3) We can do SOMEthing about the tone, though.  "Warriors," not "fighting-men."  "Wizards" or "sorcerers," not "magic-users."  Take the language out of the paradigm that presumes all adventurers are male, and the only women out there are "witches" or seductresses set in opposition to the pure Galahads.  (See p. 27, pfft.)  Ditch the notion of a "Caller" in the example of play and use real character names, with different people having turns.

[2022 edit: At the time of my original post, I hadn't seen the set of OSR rules called Lamentations of the Flame Princess.  It had a "Specialist" class (what they called thief/rogue, basically), listing nine skills -- Architecture, Bushcraft, Climb, Languages, Search, Sleight of Hand, Sneak Attack, Stealth and Tinker -- and conferring 4 points at startup and +2/level to allocate among them as the player saw fit.  The result was that (say) as a 1st level Specialist, you could choose to have 2 pts in Stealth and 2 pts in Search, and you'd succeed on a roll of 1-2 on a d6 in either.  Rotten percentage chance, but it's a terribly clean and workable mechanic.  That would've worked just as well in OD&D.  Call this (4).]

Exotic Settings: Lohvian Cuisine (II)

The second part of the setting information I have for Loh is the cuisine writeup.  As I've mentioned before, serving yourself a helping of Wikipedia is just dandy for setting detail, and what's listed below is mostly from the respective articles on Malay and Indonesian cuisine.  Bon appetit!

"I'm tellin' ya, it's made with orc meat!

 Food is *never* eaten with the left hand.  Chefs pay attention to the fragrance of dishes, adding floral and herbal essences to produce tantalizing odors.  These powerful essences – sometimes only one drop is needed – are sold by apothecaries.

Elements: Common ones include nasilemak (coconut rice) often used as a base.  Other standard bases include meats stewed with thick gravy, seafood seasoned with turmeric, spicy noodle dishes, selaika (= peanut butter), serikaya (coconut jam).  Channa is the foundational fried flatbread; it looks like a crepe, spread out until paper thin usually by "tossing" it on a flat surface, and gathered into a long rope-like mass. This "rope" is then wound into a knot or spiral and flattened.  It is usually served with a vegetable- or meat-based curry, or used to eat a thick stew, and is also commonly cooked with cheese, onions, red beans, chocolate, mushrooms or eggs.

Condiments: coconut milk, lime juice, plum vinegar

    belacan (sauce with chili peppers, shallots, garlic, fermented prawn paste)
    sambalado (green chili blended with garlic, shallot, tomato, lime juice, salt, then sauteed with oil to make a reddish paste or relish)
    goreng (fried shallot, red chili pepper, shrimp paste, salt, sauteed in coconut oil)
    petai (chili, garlic, shallot, sugar, salt, crushed fried peanuts, sauteed in light oil; used for chicken dishes)
    terasi (relish made of cucumber, cabbage, shallot, vinegar and pineapple)
    kerisik (toasted and salted coconut shreds, appears dark brown)

    curries (ariaya = chicken, aridagi = prawn, arikambi = mutton, ariika = fish, arikuda = bean)

Fruits: lychee, jackfruit, tamarind,

Spices: lemongrass, basil, nutmeg, turmeric, ginger, mustard seeds, fenugreek, galangal, pepper, cardamom, clove, cinnamon, coriander, anise – all traditionally stone ground.  

    dasar (shallot, garlic, coriander, lemongrass; used with so-called “white” dishes)
    mera (red chili pepper, shallot, tomato, coconut sugar, salt; used with “red” dishes)
    kunin (shallot, garlic, turmeric, coriander, ginger, black pepper; used with “yellow” dishes)
    lawar (orange chili pepper, anise, turmeric, ginger; used with “orange” dishes)

Meats: Fish, prawns, goat, lamb, chicken

Drinks: Tea is often served with ginger, jasmine (Vydra) or other floral elements, or coconut milk

    beras (rice beer)
    dedén (potent drink made from seared cane sugar, thick, brownish, very intoxicating)
    charaya (potent 90-proof drink distilled from rice wine)
    goribon (coconut palm wine, milky white)
    hanaza (distilled 60 proof rice brandy)
    inlichi (low alcohol lychee wine)
    kinomol (pale green rice wine, with different types of rice going into different blends)
    oshikun (weak millet beer, sometimes flavored with peanut or hazelnut)
    ruoma (plum wine)
    traitha (pomegranate wine)
    uladi (ginger wine, flavored with citrus; often cut with water to make a refreshing summer drink)
    zivani (distilled and stiff plum brandy, lavender colored)

Dishes:

    ambaka (charcoal-grilled chicken marinated in coconut oil and peanut sauce, with a spice rub before)

    acari (pickled vegetables and fruit with dried chili, peanuts and spices)

    ammasak (chicken casserole with sambalado and noodles, sometimes spiced with clove or anise)

    angangi (chicken slices simmered in a tomato base with shallot, onion, garlic, galangal, pepper, and lime)

    arisa (porridge/dumpling made from coarse-ground millet, mixed with seasoned minced meat)

    begedil (rice noodles dressed in a gravy made from belecan, tamarind, cucumber and dried shrimp)

    bobotin (spiced minced meat mixed with scrambled eggs)

    gulai (goat stew with unripe fruit, turmeric, pepper, ginger, lemongrass and coconut milk)

    kankang (bean stew served with cumin, onion, garlic, lemon juice and other optional ingredients)

    kwetia (stirfried rice noodles with pork and spices)

    laksa (spicy chicken/fish noodle soup)

    maridzo (savory goat- or mutton stew made with raisins, slivers of fish fried in sugared sauce, various vegetables, and heavily spiced)

    mikari (millet noodles with spicy curry soup)

    nasibriyan (saffron rice with meat-and-vegetable curry)

    nasikato (rice, minced fried chicken, belacan, with garlic, ginger, shallow, scallion, lime juice and/or vinegar as secondary ingredients, served in savory leaves)

    tabak (channa formed into a spiraled pyramid, filled with meat, onion and spices, then deep fried)

    urlambu (savory rice porridge made with a mixture of lemongrass and meat/veggie slivers, usually eaten communally)

Desserts:

    burketan (brown rice porridge with coconut milk and sugar)

    chendol (iced thick drink containing nokdumu, coconut milk, rice flour and dried fruit)

    cucimul (thicker channa, sweetened with sugar, served with jam)

    kaludol (minced fruit, rice flour, coconut milk)

    melhdoá (thick fruit pudding, custard-consistency and served hot)

    neninél (fruit sliced very thin and layered with perfumed sugar and spices over fine pastry sheets.  Sometimes served with dreamdrowse or moondust between the layers as well)

    nokdumu (lemongrass jelly, comes out black or dark green)

Street foods:

    alèl (thin slices of meat smeared with hot spices and seed paste, then wrapped in leaves and baked in the ashes of a slow fire)

    ambuya (sticky ball of sago or tapioca starch, alternately dipped into a spicy/sour gravy and a tomato base)

    ampla (cracker made from river fish – usually mackerel – rice starch and seasonings, and deep fried)

    lekor (savory fish cake)

    lemang (rice, jackfruit and coconut milk cooked in a hollowed bamboo stick)

    mélmél (fried rice kernels mixed with salt and spices, and served in little rice paper cones. Some vendors insert a tiny metal statue, coins and other “favors” into the mix for children)

    murtabak (channa stuffed with curry gravy)

    otakota (grilled fish cake made of ground fish meat mixed with tapioca starch and spices: ginger, turmeric, galangal, nutmeg, pepper, cardamom, tamarind)

Exotic Settings: The Land of Loh (I)

So ... on the gaming forum I frequent these days, there's been a recent debate on exotic settings -- what elements are desirable, how to do it, what not to do.  And I mentioned the recent work I'd done in putting the culture of this region on my gameworld together, and promised to post some sections for people's review.  This will not be for everyone, and the section I'm posting here is particularly long: no skin off of my nose if you pass it up!

A caveat: much of this is not original.  The concept of Loh comes from Kenneth Bulmer's Dray Prescot/ Scorpio series, and three of his later books in the series were set there.  It's a teensy bit generically Oriental, but far from excessively so.  A good bit more comes from M.A.R. Barker's seminal RPG Empire of the Petal Throne, and its setting, the empire of Tsolyanu on the world of Tekumel.  A large reason EPT never really took off, despite being the second RPG in print after D&D, is that its Malay/Mayan fusion of a setting is weird to Westerners: too exotic, too non-European, too violent, too sexualized, not in keeping with Ren Faire/Merrie Olde standards of chivalry.  I've always felt I was more adaptive than creative, and it saves a great deal of time to take what smart people have written and twist it to my own ends.  (Therefore, no nonsense about plagiarizing in these setting posts; I cheerfully admit that much of this is not my original work.) 

So ... here 'tis.  Lohvian culture practices and miscellany.  Loh = the region; Serioli = the language and ethnic group.

* * * * * * * * *

Politics:  Nominally, the Empire of Walfarg (currently styled the “Empire of Taira”) still exists, and the Seal Emperor rules from the Jasmine Throne in Tsungfaril, with the High Lords of the Twice Thirteen Dominions as His loyal servants and lieutenants, in a vast realm ranging down the great Valley from the Wizards’ Realm almost to the sea.

The facts on the ground are far different. In fact, the Emperor reigns, not rules, and the sway of Tsungfaril does not stretch much beyond the core dominions: Mindroling, Jenderak, Chai Yarchen, Hul Cheka – and in weaker reigns, not always that far.  In an Ottoman-like system, the various High Lords jockey for position and influence, in ever-shifting coalitions and cabals ... formally paying lip service to the Jasmine Throne, effectively as independent warlords.  

The three dominions that now comprise the nation of Mirdain are formally an independent kingdom, defying the Emperor’s writ.  So, too, it has been many years since Tsungfaril’s writ ran as far as controlling Vankaris, Lohrhiang, Simbiling or Chai Seletari, and the Dominions further downriver are only nominally are part of the Empire: words on paper and empty titles proclaimed before the Jasmine Throne.  The Dominion of Ternantung is not even that much, and it is carefully left unsaid in Tsungfaril that there used to be two more Dominions: Vinkleden and Panjang, now part of the New Moon Confederacy and the westernmost reach of the ancient imperial lands.

The Clan: The fundamental unit of Serioli life is the clan. Most Lohvians live with others of their clan in a common dwelling, or “clan house.” A small clanhouse might have only the extended generations of a single family, while those in great cities might house over a thousand clan members, servants and slaves.

Serioli children know who their mothers are (see Marriage Customs, below), but paternity is often casually tracked, and the identity of biological fathers is not usually considered terribly important. Adult males are “clan-fathers” or “clan-uncles” to a child, while adult females are “clan-mothers” or “clan-aunts.” Children are commonly given “school names” when they survive to nine months old, and do not receive their adult names until their 14th year, upon which they earn their majority. Lifestyles are polyamorous, and many formal marriages are triads or groups.

Clanhouses may be as simple as rural dwellings of thatch or sod, to walled estates or multistoried complexes.  Middle-class clan houses include a walled front courtyard where transactions and deliveries take place; an entrance hall, with sitting-rooms off to the side; a refectory which doubles as a celebration hall; slaves’ quarters and animal pens around the rear; warehouses for mercantile clans; sundry kitchens, restrooms, closets, etc.  Private family apartments are the norm among higher clans, with those of a higher lineage within a clan having preference.  Separate dormitories are common for children, young men and young women (although fraternization is not frowned upon).  Some clans also have large baths tended by specially-trained slaves, massage rooms, workshops (for the crafting clans), or other facilities.

Most clans have traditional occupations, so in addition to being the centers of family life, clanhouses are where the bulk of the trade and commerce of Loh takes place.  Those (say) born into a stoneworking clan are trained in masonry as they grow.  If the clan’s occupation is not to one’s liking, a young adult – at age 14 – is free to engage in a number of occupations, such as the military, the priesthood, the civil bureaucracy or sorcery.  It is difficult, however, to take up a different trade under the control of a different clan.

Marriage Customs: Everyone gets married: to be an adult bachelor/ette is considered weird, and people just don’t take conspicuously unmarried types other than uhus seriously.  Group marriages are common, and many patterns are possible.  The outright social rules are:

    (1) marrying someone from a higher status clan is laudable, but a “marriage price” needs to be paid upward as compensation;

    (2) you can’t marry within your lineage, but there is no incest taboo otherwise – for instance, if your father is from a lower lineage, he would take his wife’s clan name upon marriage, and it would be quite legal and proper to marry a half-sibling from the father’s first marriage;

    (3) by contrast, it’s also weird to be a virgin upon marriage, and sexual experimentation as a youth is expected ... but only within your lineage and generation.  Experimenting with one’s (teen, full) sibling is expected; doing so with your best friend’s parent/child is taboo.  (Further, while premarital sex under these circumstances is the norm, premarital pregnancy as a result is shocking and not to be tolerated.)

    (4) blatant cross-generational marriage is frowned upon, but this is determined upon lineage lines, with considerable fudging and jostling.  Even so, a much older person will almost never marry a much younger person, fudging notwithstanding ... if children are necessary, concubinage is one way out.  (Children born of slaves, however, are always, always held illegitimate.)

    (5) Societal pressure to be married is so strong that widowers will often marry wives’ younger sisters, and widows their husbands’ younger brothers.  Such a marriage will keep the link between the families and maintain the existing household structure intact.  However ...

    (6) ... a person may also be wed to a dead person.  In the ceremony (and often in the nuptial bed) the role of the deceased is acted out by a stand-in, more often than not a lineage relative of the deceased.  Any children born of the union are attributed to the dead spouse, and are recognized as his/her descendants; it is a cultural imperative that no one question the parentage.  A ghost can thus become the culturally and legally recognized parent of a newborn child.

Society:  An important element is the concept of khomoyi, or “place.”  Everyone has a role, and is expected to fulfill it.  Striving to achieve unseemly heights, ambition beyond one’s station, is considered somewhat blasphemous.  Likewise, failing to maintain one’s station is considered a threat to society.  

This is tied to the dual ethic of lan (noble) and bussan (ignoble) actions.  To act within one’s station is lan.  It is noble, for instance, for someone born into a mat-weaving clan to participate in the clan business of weaving mats.  That person can also nobly seek to be a simple soldier in the ranks, or a low-ranking acolyte in a temple.  Acts of presumption, in contrast, are bussan.  Should (say) the mat weaver join a temple and ambitiously begin to scheme to be the High Priest, he would be looked upon as behaving in an unseemly and ignoble fashion. Similarly, should someone from a high ranking clan take up the work of a simple laborer, society would be shocked at such ignoble behavior.  Failure to behave “nobly” reflects badly upon the clan as well as the individual, and clan members will be quick to react to such behavior.

These values are situationally subjective.  Is not a woman lan when she performs acts of charity and kindness?  Is she not bussan when she acts in a violent fashion?  In both cases, these are dependent on whether the recipients are worthy of the behavior.  To show kindness to a sworn enemy of one’s clan may be lan to his clanmembers; it is certainly bussan to one’s own.  The Lohvian understands, as few outsiders do, that morality is malleable and situational, and the only sound path is to cleave to one’s clan and faith.

Should a person continue ignoble behavior, the clan will seek to correct it, first with advice, then with sanctions.  Ultimately, a persistently ignoble member will be ejected from their clan.  To be made “nakomé” – clanless – is considered a horrifying fate (using the term to someone, as it happens, is a deadly insult).  Such people will find themselves without lodging or employment, dependent upon handouts, unprotected, and only acts of startling nobility and character would induce a clan to invite a nakomé to join.

Attire:  The well-dressed Lohvian wears a poncho-like tunic called a firya, overlapping four or five inches down from the shoulder, open down the sides but secured with loose, often-decorative lacing.  A double sash (slightly offset to form a flattened “X”) belts the firya, often plaited with the clan’s colors.  Loose, baggy trousers are also worn by both sexes, though kilt-like garments are also in fashion.  Headgear is diverse: turbans (among the upper classes), basketcaps and headcloths all common.  Full robes are also worn by the upper classes.

More uncommon garments include the so-called “mage’s mantle,” a sleeveless knee-length mantle almost exclusively worn by sorcerers, generally patterned, embroidered or colored in styles particular to the order.  Priests often don gi-like open heavy shirts, but almost invariably wear braids at the shoulder (very like European-style military fourragères) that denote faith, status and rank; a Heraldry (Serioli clerical) roll will determine the exact status.  Finally, it is a custom that wearing a grey silk scarf is a privilege reserved for warriors who have slain an enemy in combat.

Gestures:

    Arm held outward, palm down, two fingers extended: interruption will NOT be tolerated.
    Both hands, palm down, fingers spread widely: apologies.   
    Clapping the hands together: summoning a slave.  Rather a deadly insult if obviously NOT doing so.
    Clapping a hand to the throat, taking it away, and raising the chin: “I bare the throat” – the ritual resignation of Jikaida, and generally meaning “You win” and/or “I give up.”
    Clasping the right upper arm of another with your right hand: Fervent greeting of close comrades.
    Fingersnapping: applause.
    General interjections, hesitation markers or response particles: Ai, Cha, Hai, Khe, Ohe, Tla.
    Hand out, palm up, rocking side to side: Asking for help.
    Holding the left hand breast-high, folding the fingers inward, and shaking it slightly back and forth: disapproval.  “I don’t agree.”
    Making a circle of one’s thumb and forefinger, and making an emphatic jerk of the hand: insinuating the other person is clanless, a strong insult.
    Palm held upwards: general approval
    Slapping the fingertips into the palm of the same hand: Between lovers, denotes affection and sexual desire.  Between others, an obscene gesture.
    Slapping the chest with an open right hand: Llahal!
    Tapping the middle three fingers to one’s opposing upper arm: A faith greeting within Upuaut circles; an insult – “Burn you!” – to someone known not to be of the faith.
    Two fingers touching closed lips: agreement, acknowledgment; very much so, if the fingers are tapping.

Holidays: Above and beyond normal Celduin holidays, Lohvians celebrate these:

    Hasanpór (Kelusse 1): a day of feasts, gift-giving, pageants and parades.

    Rites of Kaopan (Planting season): ensuring the fertility of the fields through the placement of blue and yellow paper hexagons, incense, and sacrifice (the most highly prized which involve slaves).

    Drénggar (Hisivan 10): The Unveiling of Beauty, commemorated with spectacular rituals and debauched orgies. 

    Menggano (Hisivan 17): The Enhancement of the Emerald Radiance.  Following close on the heels of the Unveiling of Beauty, with a whole week to recover in between, Lohvians throw themselves into this festival with a will, honoring it with elaborate feasts, more ritual, and more orgies. 

    Lésdrim (Celebros 10): The Birthday of the Seal Emperor.  Commemorated with military parades and drills throughout the bounds of the old Empire – even in far-off dominions in which Tsungfaril’s writ runs very thinly indeed.  Held on this day no matter the actual birthdate of the reigning Emperor.

    Vraháma (Oranor 10): Celebration of Splendid Victories, commemorated with military pageants at local military barracks and at temples of Upuaut.  Battles prominently attributed to localities are highlighted.

    Ngaqómi (Alatur 12): Feast of the Many-Colored Lanterns, where rice lanterns are sent skyward, followed by block parties, feasts ... and the occasional orgy.

    Chitlásha (Harvest time):  Masque of the Old and the New, celebrated with public carnivals.

Proverbs and Idioms

    A habit once formed is a rod of laen.
    Give an enemy no time even to say farewell to his last breath.
    Bad blood never dries.
    It is not seemly for a mortal to overmaster the Gods: saying of the epic hero Hrugga, who won the world, two moons, and half as much again from the Goddess Vasha – yet graciously continued to stake everything he had on each play until he had lost it all back again.
    Brave times demand brave men.
    Do not worry about being there for the launching, just be there for the laying of the keel: mariners’ saying relating to having children.
    What lasts longer, the mountains or the River?
    He has never strayed from his color: the highest praise one can offer; the literal meaning is obscure, but is thought by some to refer to the White Lotus’ lodges.
    Like groping for a sovereign in a barrel of snakes.
    Men act not because of honor or duty but for a slight to their great-grandfather's chamberpot.
    Naivete is the clay from which heroes are molded.
    Nothing truly glorious is attained through moderation.
    Let us nobly end what treacherously began!: statement by a Seal Empress (whose forebear was a usurper) to her executioners.
    ... since the gods were children.
    Webs spun over webs make for tangles.
    The head of an enemy is a joy for one's descendants.
    To bargain with a Warwiker (Menaheem, Confederate, elf ...) is to throw away one's purse.
    Trust was ever the death of heroes.
    We are the People, and our lands are the World.  All else is the concern of barbarian gods.
    What greedy eyes cannot see, clever hands cannot steal.
    Where power exists, there are deeds.

Miscellany:

    * Gamelan: The national musical style, performed in ensembles with metallophones, gongs, drums and bamboo flutes. 

    * Pastimes:  Loh is pleasure-oriented and lax.  Bribery and trafficking in favors are a way of life.  In Loh, you can buy anybody or anything.  The more decadent go in a big way for music, dance, mime, jugglers, alcohol, drugs, illicit sex and street parties.  This relaxation has also created a renaissance of literature and the arts.  Filled with schools, with poetry symposia, with aspiring artists and writers, Loh believes itself unequaled as a home for the intellectual elite.  The average Serioli knows more of poetry and literature than upper-class citizens of more work-oriented lands.  (That all this flies in the face of cultural precepts of moderation, frugality and modesty is a well-known paradox, and gives the clergy, busybodies and philosophers much upon which to chew.)

    * Sport: The popular sport in Loh – aside from gladiatorial matches, archery and hunting – is marotlàn, a soccer-like game played by four simultaneously competing teams of five or six a side, using a leather or canvas ball about the size of a volleyball and played on a hexagonal field.  Competitive kite flying is also popular, with the strings bearing glued-in shards of glass or pottery so as to cut the foes’ kites free. 

     Qadàrni is the curious custom of having a full-scale battle to settle a score, satisfy a point of honor, or adjudicate an intractable dispute or legal case.  The competitors can be any entity – private individuals, clans, temples, societies, and even political polities up to Dominions.  Qadàrni battles (in stark contrast to so-called “low” wars, Qadardááli, where no holds are barred) are governed by strict rules of honor.

    First off, the forces involved can be as large as the competitors can afford, although honor demands that the sides start (nominally) even, and it gains little honor if one’s forces are known to be a great deal more capable than their numerically even foes.  Indeed, to choose to fight a foe that is significantly more numerous is considered dishonorable, as the commander is seen to be putting his personal glory over all other considerations.  Secondly, to cheat, employ treachery or otherwise act dishonorably is not allowed.

    Such a battle begins at dawn and takes one hour, or when one side is either disabled – or slain – to a man or concedes; prisoners, however, may be taken.  If neither side concedes, a panel of judges determines the victor; each side nominates a judge of proven worth and honor, and those two pick a third.  The result of a qadàrni battle is considered binding and final on all.  (It is also a major spectator sport, and an occasion for a great deal of gambling.)

    * Funerals: Regardless of standard religious rites, a Serioli funeral has certain traits.  Cremation is the universal practice, and the fabric with which body is wound, and the amount and quality of the wood chosen, is heavily rank-dependent.  The ashes of infants who have not yet received their school names are always interred within their clanhouses, because their spirits are considered too young and dependent to know where else to go.  While cremations take place the day after death, if a soul is not passed on through the repositor/dikaster system, the clan holds a feast a month thereafter, to celebrate the soul’s arrival at the sunny uplands beyond the Ice Floes.  This trip is considered in Loh to take a month (and it is not considered that a soul would fail in this).  A particularly honored clan member is memorialized – if space allows – by a stone or metal plaque set in the inner wall of the clanhouse’s courtyard.

    The souls of those who die during Alyena are believed to sometimes return to their clanhouses in the form of a spirit-bird.  These revenants are always malicious and evil, no matter the character of the dead.  Further, while suicide has no particular stigma in Loh, killing oneself by drowning is considered highly shameful.  Those who do it are posthumously cast out of their clans and lineages (and the bodies tossed into garbage piles or middens), but the shame and disfavor linger like a miasma over their relatives.

Advantages (for characters born in Loh):

    Harmony [+10]: You are receptive to the flow of the elements around and through you.  You can learn the Esoteric Skills Autohypnosis, Body Control, Breath Control, Mental Strength and Pressure Secrets, as well as cinematic versions of Erotic Art, Physician, Architecture and Natural Philosophy, and detect and identify spiritual disturbances.  Those who seek or practice the harmonious life (or Varuna worshipers, since this is a variant of Blessed) sense your inner harmony, and react to you at +1.
                               
    Uhu [+9]: Serioli custom is for a third gender: the uhu, who are without primary or secondary sexual characteristics.  Uhus shave themselves bald, and their voices have a noticeable odd tang to them.  They cannot bear or engender children, and are immune to seduction (though not necessarily to Sex Appeal rolls, however much at penalties).  It is considered meritorious to be an uhu, in that one can live one’s life dispassionately and with calm.  They have preference as teachers, advisors, bureaucrats, priests and judges, the more so in that an uhu cannot rule in its own name, lead a clan or business enterprise, or have heirs-at-law (their possessions go at death to the lineage or lord).  It is considered declassé and shocking to make someone an uhu surgically; far more often, they are made so by White Lotus mages, who are paid very handsomely for the privilege.  The point cost includes the Social Regard: Respected and the Longevity advantages, as well as an offsetting Reputation between those who respect the uhu’s clear head and those who find the state unnatural and creepy.

Disadvantages (for characters born in Loh):

    Code of Honor (Serioli) [-10]: Show humanity to others, especially those set under you or who owe you duty; good will is more important than following exact rules.  Influence others by example rather than by force.  Respect Serioli society, its customs and traditions.  Understand the distinction between khomoyi, lan and bussan, and live by them.  Perform your duties properly and with honor to the Emperor, your overlord, your parents, your spouse, your teachers, your older siblings and your friends ... living or dead.

    Compulsive Behavior (Ladravaya) [-5]: The Vengali Table of Correspondences is taken to extremes.  A fireplace must face to the north.  A woodbin must be painted green.  Savory foods really should only be eaten during the night time.  Pressing a sheet of lead against your chest is a good remedy for coughing fits.  And so on.  This can also be expressed as an Odious Personal Habit, depending on how obnoxious you make yourself over this.

    Delusion (Serioli chauvinist) [-5]: Everything Lohvian is just better.  Serioli is a finer, purer language than the monkey speech belched by the rabble outside the Valley.  Serioli ways are just superior.  Serioli blood is better than the thinner stuff flowing through barbarian veins.  Outside ways are not treated with contempt – it is not their fault that they were born foolish barbarians – as much as with indifference.

    Disciplines of Faith (Contemplation) [-5]: You engage in regular meditation through stillness, attention, breathing exercises and calisthenics, at least once daily.  At all times, you maintain habits of moderation in diet, possessions and enjoyments.  Other people who spend time with you, if not themselves students or fellow contemplatives, regard you as unworldly and react at -1.

    Social Stigma: unmarried [-5]: Adults in Lohvian society are expected to be married (see below), and widow/ers are expected to remarry, without unseemly delay.  Only clergy or those under strong vows of service avoid the stigma.

    Vow (The Three Treasures) [-5]: As a model for living, strive to: (1) practice mercy or nonaggression;  (2) be frugal and economical; (3) be humble, and do not dare to put yourself first.

OMG! the SJWs! -- an immodest rant

"To find a scapegoat is to be spared, for the moment, any necessity for further examination of the facts or further thought."  -- Frederick Lewis Allen, Since Yesterday (1940)

We now interrupt your usual gaming blog for a rant.

I used to be active on a lively RPG forum; made a couple thousand posts, over several years.  It had light moderation – unlike the extremely and capriciously heavy-handed RPG.net, the leading one by volume – but a relatively sensible base of participants.  Unfortunately, it ceased to be sensible, and when it went off the deep end, I just got too disgusted to continue.

I’d be surprised if you hadn’t heard of the acronym, but SJWs – so-called “Social Justice Warriors” – occupy the imaginations of a great many Reddit and Twitter warriors, redhatters and MAGA-heads the Internet over, and their putative depredations are seized upon in obsessive frenzies as presaging (if not actively bringing about) the downfall of civilization.

Now yes: there are excesses.  Always have been.  Always will be.  However liberal I am, I am a white, male, Irish Bostonian raised Catholic in the 1960s.  The city in which I lived for the first ten years of my life was so vanilla that I was all of five years old before I saw my first black person.  I had no idea what a “queer” was, except that it was something Very Bad, and only exceeded on the scale of Badness by a “Commie queer.”  (Whatever that was.)  It is impossible for the canalization of the culture in which I was raised to have had no effect on me, deep down.

So I am faintly irritated by gender-neutral pronouns.  I think “defunding” the police would prove disastrous (not the least which that it gives the red-hatters a dandy political club).  The degree you could call me “woke” has its limits, and furthermore I don’t feel the need to apologize for being in the demographic I’m in any more than anyone else ought to feel like a second-class citizen for theirs.  I'm not enthusiastic about verbal "safe spaces," and I think "trigger warnings" are arrant nonsense.  I don't believe in Original Sin, even when committed by people of my gender or skin color.

But when I see a topic from the site owner titled “SJWs Declare All Fantasy Settings Bigoted,” my blood starts to boil, and however non-woke the statement “For Chrissake grow a pair!” is, that’s the one in my thoughts.  I’m not going to recap that sordid topic, but what set the idjit off was a tweet from no one in particular stating “Stop making fantasy settings consisting of clearly defined borders between ethnostates.”

Fair enough.  That’s an opinion, anyway.  I’ve certainly given mine on dozens of topics in this blog, and often strongly worded.  And if some cementhead went off and claimed that I’ve “Declared All Fantasy Settings” pretty much anything, in consequence, I’d think he was a lunatic.  Had I wanted to debate the subject -- which had gotten far, far out of hand by the time I read it -- I might have pointed out that the great majority of fantasy settings, in point of fact, do not abound with ethnic states, and that I haven't seen many maps with hard and fast internationally recognized borders.  I might have pointed out that the tweeter's further explanation opined that hard-and-fast national borders are an artifact of post-Napoleonic Europe (and how about we ask a Ukrainian or the citizen of any nation abutting China how sacred THOSE are, these days?), and that she made no actual assertions about bigotry.

Too late for common sense, in any event.  The day I saw that topic was the last day I was active on that site.  Unfortunately, this kind of Chicken Littleing is all too common in the blogosphere, however much it’s common for a red-hatter to shriek "OMG there's a SJW out there who said something I don't like, they must be stopped, America's freedoms are at threat, ahhhh!!!!"

About the worst example I can recall, though, ugh.  Several years ago, see, Paizo (the company that puts out the Pathfinder products, for those few unaware) decided they’d be a leetle bit more inclusive.  So in two of the books, among the quite literally hundreds of gamebooks they put out, they tossed in a couple of explicitly gay NPCs.  No Depraved Villain, no caricature, no La Cage Aux Folles over-the-top description, just folks.

And the Internet went BERSERK.

Dozens of forums.  Hundreds of topics.  Tens of thousands of posts.  All in a hurricane of angst over how the SJWs were pushing the GAY AGENDA!  And it meant that the gays were TAKING OVER!!!  And it just left me bewildered.  Excuse me?  How many gaming products have there been in the nearly half-century of the hobby?  How many explicitly hetero NPCs?  A hundred thousand?  A million?  Heaven knows; I surely don’t.

But I know this much: claiming that increasing the ratio of explicitly non-hetero NPCs in gamebooks to one-thousandth of one percent constitutes pushing ANYthing?  That isn’t merely lunacy.  That’s tin-foil-hat-to-thwart-the-Jewish-orbital-mind-control-lasers lunacy.

(And what is, dare I ask, the “gay agenda?”  Beyond “hey, we exist, and golly, wouldn’t it be swell if in our escapism every rare once in a while we ran into people who looked and acted like us, because 100% horny hetero male teenager Frazettaland is kinda boring?”)

Anyway, deconstructing the fury of people when concepts they don’t like seep into their echo chambers has been done hundreds of times over by people smarter and more eloquent than I am: no need to batter you over the head with my fumblings.  

But I’ll say this much: don’t want LGBT NPCs in your gaming?  Don’t have them.  Want to have national borders based on race?  Meh, whatever.  Want your gameworld to resemble Frank Frazetta, circa 1975, where manly men rule the roost and the only characteristic of a Gurrrrl to which any he-man need pay attention is her cup size?  Keep that garbage the hell out of my own gaming, but whatever, suit yourself.  

See, for some odd reason, even if someone around his or her own gaming table uses elements or settings which I wouldn’t use myself or which conflict with my own views or beliefs, it doesn’t concern me.  Nor does it affect me.  Nor does it frighten me.  Gaming will not be doomed, the black helicopters won’t land in front of my home, and Big Brother isn’t staring out of my monitor at me.

And in like fashion, they're not coming for the cementheads either.  Something I will never, ever understand in my gut is what the reactionaries are so afraid of -- so much so that it's not merely that they don't want LGBT NPCs in their games, that they don't want female NPCs to be anything other than one-dimensional eye candy in subordinate roles, that they don't want race relations to be anything beyond the lawfulgood guys being able to kick the chaoticevil swarthy guys around: it's that it's intolerable to them that anyone else play differently, themselves.

Granted, so-called "Badwrongfun" is endemic in this hobby, but damn.  Why do the reactionaries need a scapegoat THIS badly?

Survival Game II: fantasy

Following the previous post, what would I go with for a fantasy character in terms of personal camping/trekking gear?

Well, okay.  Using my tweaks on GURPS weights for such things, and drawing on many decades of personal camping experience, I make the following assumptions:

* First off, that we’re talking an adult rather than a sixteen year old.

* Second, for encumbrance, I normally stick with the simpler multiples of ST used in earlier editions, but let’s assume standard 4th Edition Basic Lift for a character with average ST.  That gives a ceiling of 60 pounds encumbrance to stay within Medium Encumbrance.  This gives a -2 penalty to a lot of things like Stealth, Climbing, Swimming and the like.  ST 11 goes up to 72 pounds.  That’s the most I want a character to be hauling, and I’m not all that comfortable with even that much, on a route march by anyone who expects to be on top form for adventuring at the end of it.

* Third, that we’re not talking deep wilderness long-term camping, but that the PC is versed in basic survival techniques.  The character will run into the occasional farmstead that will sell food, and won’t need to hunt ... but knows wild mint and onions when he sees them, and has a notion which mushrooms are good to eat or not.  A half hour of forage in a forest will turn up stuff for the stew pot.

* Arms and armor: a rapier, scabbard for the same, leather armor covering torso and the head, belt knife and scabbard, a belt pouch.  Total weight, 19.3 lbs.  Add 3 lbs for clothing.  37.7 pounds left.

So, let’s go for a medium backpack, weighing 3 lbs and with a 40 lb carrying capacity.  To this, we add:

- 2-quart waterskin (4)
- steel firestriker and tinderbox (.2)
- 2 4" wax candles (.2)
- hatchet (2)
- 50' heavy twine (.2)
- personal basics (1; razor, soap, willow stick, linen roll for bandaging, that sort of thing)

All of this is pretty self-explanatory, or else explained in the previous post.  There’s a lot of space saving involved.  No whetstone; use a rock.  No axe, alas, but you don’t need to build a cabin, after all: get by with the hatchet.

For shelter and bedding, we add:

- light three-season bedroll (6)
- Forester tent (6)
- 30' jute rope (1.8)
- large sack (1)
- small sack (.5)

Yeah, I know, no mattress pad.  That’s what the sack is for, to use as what’s called a “browse bag.”  Spend a few minutes foraging for dried leaves, pine needles and the like.  Sift through them to sort out branches, lumps, rocks and vermin.  Stuff them into your large sack, and spread the sack out in your tent.  That’s what you roll your bedroll onto.  The small sack is what you stuff your spare clothes into, and that’s your pillow.  Yes, you will want a pillow, however buff and rugged you picture your character being.  (And, y’know, you have those sacks handy in case of loot!)

The Forester tent is the lightest tent there is, short of using shelter halves.  You can see from the illo how it’s set up; that opening’s about 3' high.  Part of your nightly routine will be to cut the poles and the pegs for it, but we’re just talking trimming saplings, and they don’t have to be dowel-true.   The Forester benefits from being outstanding in high winds, in trapping heat from a fire in front, and from being as good as any tent before the invention of mosquito netting in dealing with bugs.  The only serious drawback is space: it’ll fit two people only if they’re very friendly and don’t move much, you can't put much personal gear in it and still have room for YOU, and you can see that it isn’t the best option to slither out of in case of 3 AM monster attacks.

For extra clothing, we add:

- half-poncho, covering head, shoulders and upper chest (1.5)
- spare tunic (1)
- spare pair of wool socks (.2)

For cooking purposes, we add:

- wooden mess kit, with cup, small bowl and spoon in a fitted box (think bento box; 1)
- 2-quart pot (3)
- 1-pint pot (1)
- jar of cornmeal (1)
- 1-pint wine (1)
- jerky (1)
- ½ pint cooking oil (.5)
- box of cooking spices (1 oz ground mustard, 3 oz tea, 4 oz salt, total weight .5)
- ½ pint honey (.5)

The meal is for cooking pones, which can bake on a flat stone, or even in raked ashes from the fire.  Shave some bacon into the mix.  Haute cuisine it is not, but it’ll do.

In the field, you’ll be making a lot of stews in the larger pot.  (The smaller one is for tea and hot water for washing up.)  That’s what the wine is for, actually – tarting up your stew.  Ditto spices, and the honey’s for your tea, and energy.

The total comes to 36 lbs, leaving a little over a pound and a half left both for food from the nearest farmhouse (most of which you ought to have eaten on the spot, granted) and for little things you just want to have around.  A smoker’s pipe.  Those dozen porcupine quills that you’re sure you’ll need one day.  A religious amulet.

One consideration when it comes to weight, by the bye: GURPS has standard equipment modifiers for things like Cheap, Fine, Stylish, Rugged, Waterproofed, and so on.  One option is for lightweight gear.  It's not as sturdy, it's a good bit more expensive, but it's likely an option that you can at least try to talk you GMs into exploring.  Copper cooking gear's a good bit less durable than iron, but if you absolutely need to save a couple extra pounds ...

Obviously, all this becomes a lot easier with a party: only one person needs to carry the cook gear, after all, the mail coat, sword-and-board the heavy fighter totes is offset by the gear the party mage isn’t carrying, and a group that stands watches can either hotbunk in Foresters or haul a much larger multi-person tent.  A single donkey can reliably carry 100 lbs in rugged terrain for long-distance marches; a trained pack mule (much more expensive!) can manage twice that. 

And just as obviously, this load has to change with conditions.  A half-gallon waterskin won’t satisfy so much as a day of drinking requirements for hiking, and if you’re not traveling in an area with frequent streams, you need to carry a lot more.  (A week’s worth of drinking water, that approaches sixty pounds per person ... without factoring in cooking, washing, or how much more one consumes with strenuous labor or hot temperatures.)